My mother-in-law moved in with us some months ago—give or take, five months ago, because that was when she had her first health crisis. She has been well since she came to live here but has refused to leave, saying it’s lonely where she lives.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
I didn’t have a problem when she first moved in, but since she has been well, she has become a thorn in the flesh of my marriage. The sad thing is, whenever I complain to my husband, he tells me, “You know her problem. Don’t take her seriously. It’s old age.”
Whenever I’m having a discussion with my husband, she wants to be part of it. She listens to both sides and takes my husband’s side, even when the discussion doesn’t require her to take anyone’s side. That aside, she critiques everything I cook. It’s either there’s too much salt, or I’ve added something the doctor told her not to eat. So, we agreed she should cook her own meals the way she likes them.
Now, when she cooks, she serves my husband, arguing that it’s the food he ate growing up, and he didn’t die from it. Sometimes I see the uneasiness in my husband’s demeanor, but it seems like he’s too careful not to upset his mom.
She takes care of the kids, which is fine. She bathes them in the morning, and I do it in the evening. When it’s my turn, she complains about everything I do. “Why are you combing her hair this way? It’s supposed to be that way.” Or, “Why are you washing her buttocks upwards instead of downwards?”
These things got on my nerves, but since my husband didn’t see fit to address them, I let it slide—until she convinced my husband to cut our daughter’s hair. She claimed that a girl her age would start acting like an adult because of her hair. As in, she would become mpayinsem. I don’t know when they had that discussion, but according to my husband, he agreed to do it just so his ears would have some peace.
I went to my mother-in-law and told her, “I’m not cutting her hair. I grew it for a reason. When it’s time to cut it, I will do it, but not because I’m being pressured.”
Of course, she fought back, telling me about her credentials in childcare. “I raised the man you married. He has two sisters. I raised them too. I know what’s good, so my grandchild can’t have that hair. Do you want her to see herself as a woman and go after men? What’s the importance of that hair you’re wasting my son’s money on?”
When things got heated, again, my husband took his mother’s side and asked me to apologize. I didn’t do it. He took our daughter out and brought her back without her hair. He said, “I did it. This has nothing to do with my mother.”
His mom sees this as a victory over me, so she goes around throwing subtle jabs and shade at me.
Our house was full of love and care before this woman’s arrival. We played together as a couple and made plans without interference. Since she came, I’ve lost my position in my husband’s life. I’ve become a second-class citizen in my own household. So, I told my husband, “Your mom has to go back home since she’s better now. She can’t be lonely in a house where her two daughters live. She has to go back.”
That was a month ago. He still hasn’t done anything about it. Would it be a good idea for me to leave the house to them and go live with my mom? My mom is lonely too. She lives in a big house my dad left for her. There are four of us siblings, and I’m the youngest. We’ve all left home, but my mom has never visited since I got married. But here we are, living with a woman who’s bent on making life miserable for me.
