I’ve been in a relationship with Julius for almost four years now. In all this time, I’ve never met any of his family members. Not even his siblings. Although he speaks fondly of everyone in his family, he hasn’t felt the need for me to meet them yet.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
While this bothered me very much, I did my best to concentrate on the good things happening between us. He is quite supportive of my dreams. He always encourages me to be a better version of myself.
He is the reason I have advanced in certain areas of my life. I have started taking my education seriously because of him.
Apart from pushing me to grow, he is also supportive physically. I have a medical condition. It’s not contagious or terminal. It also doesn’t affect my ability to live normally, have children, or do anything else. However, I get sick almost every day. When this happens, he gives me comfort.
I have grown to love him more over the years. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him. Honestly, I have treated him as I would myself.
A while ago, he got an opportunity to further his education abroad. It wasn’t a country many would be eager to go to, but it was still better than staying here in Ghana. I supported him in every way I could. I won’t exaggerate and say I did everything for him. But I gave him everything I had even though it wasn’t so much.
A few months after his travel, he rerouted to the country without telling me first about it. It was a day after he came back that he called to tell me he was in town.
I was full of questions and honestly, I felt very disappointed. We had planned everything together, so why change plans without talking to me first? “Trust me, I have my reasons,” he answered.
He is not an impulsive person. I know him to be someone who carefully plans things out. So I decided to trust the process—without knowing what he had truly returned to do.
After a few weeks, he said he was ready to leave the country again. “I have done everything I came back to do,” he announced.
A few days before he left, I saw him and gave him a few stuff to take along with him. I was under the impression that he was returning to the same country he left but I was wrong. It turned out he had received another opportunity to study in a different country. That one too he didn’t tell me about it.
It was when he got there that he called and said, “Hello baby, I’m in America. This is what God has done.” I couldn’t believe it. I cried on the phone. I was deeply disappointed. The fact is, I am not a bad person. So why would my partner hide this kind of information from me?
I was angry at myself for thinking we were doing life together. I felt stupid for feeling I was important enough to know important changes in his life. But I kept quiet. At least, he had moved to a better place.
I am still here trying to make the relationship work but I’m alone. His communication is very poor. He was like this before he travelled but this is long-distance. We can’t maintain the same energy.
I’ve spoken to him about it several times. Every time I do, he tells me he doesn’t like texting. Only calls. The problem with that is that we don’t talk every day.
Sometimes, when he’s “available,” we talk for 3 to 4 hours—but I’m not okay with that. It’s not about how long we talk. It’s about how connected I feel. I just want to wake up to a text or a message from him. Is that too much to ask for?
I have also noticed that he is stingy. Before he travelled, I did most of the giving. I thought things would change now that he is in a better place but I don’t see anything. He brought me nothing when he came back the first time. And since he left I have still not received a single gift or money from him.
My parents are well-off. They are not filthy rich, but I’m okay. Still, I feel like sometimes he could surprise me with a gift or at least offer something without me having to ask. Even when I do ask, he says, “Give me time.” Recently, I asked him for just a bag of rice, and he told me to wait. The thing is, I don’t need anything from him. I just want to know if he is a provider.
After everything I have seen, it appears I am dating myself. This is my first relationship so I don’t have much experience with men. Is this how relationships are supposed to work? Or he is treating me like this because I get sick? Maybe he feels he is doing me a favour by dating me in spite of my illness. Am I a bad person for feeling he is not doing enough?
