How do you leave a man who is at his lowest without making him feel worse than he is already doing? This is my dilemma. It’s not as if I don’t care about him. I do. He means the world to me but at this point, I am tired of him. Before you come at me saying it is because he is low, relax. I will tell you our story, and then you can judge for yourself if truly, I should be in this kind of relationship......READ THE FULL STORY>>.....READ THE FULL STORY>>
I am a good girl. By this I mean I am monogamous. When I am with one man, he is all I have and want. I have no eyes for any other man than the one who is the main object of my affection. I don’t even have the attention span to juggle different partners. Basically, if I try to cheat, I would be so sloppy at it that you would catch me with proof.
This is why I don’t understand why my boyfriend keeps accusing me of cheating on him. This is not even a one-month relationship or a one-year relationship that I would make excuses for him that he does not know me well. I have been with him since I was nineteen. Now, I am twenty-seven. Is eight years not long enough for you to know that someone loves you and chooses you?
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He started accusing me of cheating on him right from the beginning of the relationship. It bothered me because I knew I was doing no such thing. I would tell him, “Babe, there is no one in my life. It’s only you.” He would tell me that he had a gut feeling that I was lying. “You are just so good at covering your tracks. That’s why I don’t know what you are up to,” he would accuse.
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At that early stage, I didn’t think about leaving. He was a great guy so what if he came with one or two insecurities because he was financially unstable? I blame naivety for this thought. For real, I thought he was acting that way because as a man, he didn’t feel he had anything to offer me apart from money. Money he didn’t have.
His financial instability did not bother me. I didn’t need his money for anything. I just wanted to be in a healthy and peaceful relationship with the man I love. Was that too much to ask of a man? I thought if I showed him all the support I could, he would relax and feel safe in the relationship but who was I kidding? People are who they are.
Over the years, I stood by him. Even when he still had nothing, my love was served to him on a silver platter. Out of the love I had for him, I supported him in the best ways I could. I stood by him, physically, psychologically, emotionally, and occasionally financially. All these things couldn’t assure Asana that I was truly his to keep. That’s what happens when you end up with a man who does not even regard himself. No matter what you do, he won’t accept that you love him.
We were together for seven years before he finally got a job. I was so happy when things started turning around for him. I never asked him for money but he was generous enough to share what he had with me. I appreciated that about him.
What I didn’t like was the change in his behaviour. Someone who didn’t use to keep female friends all of a sudden became busy receiving messages from several women. Today this. Tomorrow that. I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t stomach it. When I finally asked him about it, he said they were just his friends.
I also found out that his insecurities had nothing to do with money. I am saying this because even when he had a job and started making money, he was still convinced I had other men on the other side. No matter how many times I explained that that was not who I was, he wouldn’t listen. Sometimes I believe he liked to listen to the voices in his head than to me.
A year after he got his job he quit for reasons known only to him. Ever since that time, his cheating accusations have gotten worse. My problem is that these accusations keep going on and I’m tired of enduring it.
He doesn’t trust me, but he keeps saying he does. I always come back from work to see him moody with no smile to even welcome me home. He intentionally says I’m the reason he is always not happy because he has the feeling that I’m cheating on him. Me too I am not happy that I have to keep reassuring a man after eight years that he is all I want.
Now he is at his lowest and I’m his support system. But I am tired of the stress of defending myself all the time. So I want to break up with him to have peace of mind. However, I also feel like breaking up with him at his lowest will be too much for him to bear. Mind you, we have spoken about his actions several times and he agrees to change but nothing changes. Should I just close my eyes to his plight and leave for my sanity’s sake?
