VIDEO: I Bullied Myself Into Polygamy, I Never Liked It But Was Deceived Into It By My Ex-husband – Nigerian Muslim Lady Shares Ordeal

A Nigerian Muslim woman, Owoyale Tawakalitu, has narrated how she was deceived into polygamy by her ex-husband despite not initially being in support of it.......➡️CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLES HERE.

In a video she made and shared on social media, Owoyale said she never liked polygamy but that her religious conditioning made her consider being a second wife.

She said her religion made her believe that anyone who rejects polygamy if it came their way wasn’t working in the will of Allah and may not have a successful marriage if they pursued monogamy.

‘’If there is anyone who shouldn’t have never entered into polygyny, it’s me. I never liked it. Deep down I knew it wasn’t for me but I did it anyway. I bullied myself into it. Ask me how?

It was through a mix of internalized beliefs and emotional manipulation. The first thing was religious conditioning. You know as a Muslim woman, I grew up knowing that men are permitted to marrying up to four wives but there was a way polygyny was constantly sermoned to me.

It was framed in such a way that if a woman should refuse it simply because she dislikes it, she is seen as opposing the will of Allah and you know as a woman who deeply desires to see the pleasure of her creator, I silenced my own feelings.

I numbed myself and eventually I began to accept polygyny as a religious obligation. I thought if I refuse, I was following my desires and not Allah’s will and I may never have a successful marriage if I reject it because I want monogamy”

Owoyale stated that her ex-husband, who was based in Ireland, came into her life and then deceived her into becoming his ‘’second wife’.

‘’Then came my ex, a religious man who proposed marriage to me. praising the fact that I was a virgin. . He told me his existing marriage was falling apart because his wife who he said was his first, had lied about being a virgin. He claimed he had been a virgin when they married and couldn’t bear the thought of her past.

According to him, he said he was living in constant sadness and unable to to look at her the same way. I believed him because he wore the mask of a pious man, a victimized one at that. I was young and naive about manipulation and deception of men. I was in my twenties. He framed our potential marriage as something noble, that my virginity will heal him, presence will be redemptive.

He said once he gets my virginity, he could finally focus on his family again.. So I was supposed to be the medicine, the cure, the saviour when I come in and the marriage will be saved. He even swore by Allah that he will never take another wife because I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t opened to polygyny. When he started chasing other women, he told me he was not bound by that promise because according to him, Islam gives him the right to marry more.”

Owoyale said she began to have the ‘’good girl syndrome” and that she began to believe that marriage was the most honourable thing a man could offer a woman.

”I thought he would cherish me forever because I had given him what he had lost and of course I believed that lies that marriage is the honorable thing a man could offer a woman. Lies! because people settle for whatever reason known to them at the end of the day”

Owoyale said she later discovered that the man who claimed he was never married, had actually been married before. She said she found out about his first divorce four years into their marriage.

‘’He admitted he hid it from me because he knew I would have married him if I had known. So why did he finally tell me back then? He said because I was already pregnant and he knew I wouldn’t want to leave him at that point. You know like baby trapping. I was still new in Finland then, vulnerable and still trying to find my footing. His second marriage, he said the woman left and that he didn’t divorce her. His third divorce was with me.”

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