No Man Has Proposed To Me In Three Years
My life hasn’t been the same since I lost the pregnancy. Despite the fact that Amon refused to accept responsibility, I wanted to keep it. I am one of those people who believe children are blessings no matter how they happen. It’s just unfortunate that the heartache I felt from our break up and all the drama he caused when I told him I was pregnant stressed me to the point of miscarriage.......➡️CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLES HERE.
I was shredded into pieces by every clot of blood that left my body. I am very sure I cried an endless river. Sometimes when I think about it, it still breaks me.
The most haunting part is that I have not been able to able to move on after that breakup. It’s not as if I haven’t tried.
I know no amount of tears will bring back what I lost so at some point I consoled myself. Whenever I felt a wave of sadness trying to overcome me I would say, “It’s life. Things happen and we have to live with it.”
I was certain that if I was intentional about my healing, it would happen. The dark nights will pass and soon I would be bursting with new life. “Maybe I will meet a kind man who will make me believe in love again,” I would comfort myself.
Well, that’s my problem right now. That whole ugly business with my ex ended in 2022. I haven’t met another man since that time.
No, I am not going through life looking for Amon in the men I meet. In fact, I have gotten to a point where my heart is ready to love again. I want to meet someone new, settle down, and start a family. I’m looking for that beauty God promised to give us for our ashes.
Sadly, the men I meet don’t want any of that. They want me to visit them in their homes when they barely know me. When I refuse they get angry.
“Why are acting like a child? It’s not as if when you come you won’t have a good time,” some have said.
Others have shamelessly asked me, “What will I do to you that you haven’t done with another man before?”
I am not kidding when I say these are the only kinds of men who come my way. Sadly, even these rotten ones only approach me once in a while.
It hurts, the way my love life has become a catacomb of lost dreams.
I am turning twenty-seven next month but I don’t have anyone to call my own. I feel so alone in this world.
All I do is work, go to school, and come home to take care of my sick father.
There are times I ask myself, “What if this is my fate? Maybe I am meant to do life alone.”
I worry that I may never find a man who truly loves me enough to marry me. Or that I may not be able to have kids.
Has anyone here ever felt the way I feel? I try to be hopeful and positive but is it normal for a woman not to receive any serious proposals for three whole years?
Sometimes I feel I am tainted by what happened. And it’s why serious men don’t notice me. Before someone tells me to check my appearance, I am not ugly.
Sure, I’m no beauty queen. I’m not rich enough to dress fancy and sophisticated either. But I make sure I always look good and presentable. So what could be the problem? I am really struggling to make sense of how stagnant my life feels right now.