My Mom Must Die Before I Can Marry

My mom was very sick and was in the hospital for weeks. The sickness got worse with each passing day, so she feared she was going to die. Each time she saw me beside her bed, she said, “Adwoa, you couldn’t give me a grandchild before I die? You always said we should give it time, now look at me. I may not go back home alive.”......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>

She had grandkids from my elder siblings. My brother Mavin has two kids, and Elvis also had two, but that wasn’t enough. She was only looking forward to my kids. Thankfully, God was so good—she recovered and was later discharged from the hospital.

I took inspiration from what happened and decided to be open about my dating life with my mom so she would know I was trying. I was dating Joe then. We were a year and a half into our relationship, and everything was fine, so I decided to take him home to meet my mom.

My mom was very happy to see him. She asked him the marriage question: “So when are you going to marry my beautiful daughter? Look at her, I raised her for a man like you. She’s perfect, can’t you see?” Joe nodded shyly and responded, “Very soon, we’ll be knocking on your door. It won’t be long at all.”

Days after this introduction, Joe started acting weird. Where he previously held me in high esteem, he now let me down. Where he once fulfilled promises, he now failed. Where he called me “babe,” he replaced it with my real name. I saw the change, but each time I tried to address it, he told me I was overthinking simple things. Eventually, he ghosted me for over two weeks and finally called it quits. He said, “It’s not about you. It’s about me. You deserve better than this. Forgive me.”

It felt like a dream I never woke up from. The fall from grace to grass was so steep I couldn’t understand it—even to this day—but I had to let Joe go, no matter how hurt I was. I told my mom about it. She was equally shocked. She even asked me to give her Joe’s number so she could call him. I didn’t. I wasn’t going to stand there and watch my mom beg a man who wanted to leave.

Over a year later, Bart came along. Bart is short for Bartolomeo. He came with marriage in mind. He was nearing forty and wanted to marry before he turned forty. He wanted to marry me in the same year we met, but I pleaded for time to know him better and connect on a deeper level. He asked, “How long is that going to take?” I had no idea, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long, seeing how intensely he loved me.

We spent eight months together before I took him to meet my mom. She was so excited she started singing and dancing right in front of Bart. We laughed, but she kept going with the singing. She said, “Gentleman, this is your home. You’re always welcome. My daughter has said a lot about you. I’m only waiting for the day you will be ready.” Bart responded, “We are ready. We can even do it tomorrow.”

When Bart broke up with me a few weeks later, I asked him, “What happened to our tomorrow? You promised my mom, remember?”

I gave his number to my mom when she asked for it. I wasn’t there when they talked, but Bart called later to tell me about it. He asked me, “Why are you making things difficult? I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry it didn’t happen.”

Nothing brought him back, but in his absence, I felt something wasn’t right. I needed answers I wasn’t getting from friends and family. Two men who I thought loved me beyond measure had disappeared for no reason. I went to see the pastor of a friend. He prayed with me and for me. On the seventh day of seeking counsel, he told me, “It’s your mom. She’s the reason the men leave.”

I laughed before asking him to explain. He said, “Spiritually, she’s preparing you for their king. Don’t listen to what she says and assume she means well. The king didn’t choose you the first time she presented you to him. He gave her directions on what to do to make you fit for him.”

“But it’s my mom who’s asking me to give her a grandchild. Why would she be the same person fighting against my marriage?”

He insisted he had told me what had been revealed to him and advised that I shouldn’t introduce any man to my mother again. The day I introduced a man would be the end of our relationship, just like the others. I asked, “So if I meet the next man and he’s ready to marry me, how do I handle it?”

He answered, “Until your mom dies, it’s not possible. I will pray about it and see what God reveals to me next, but don’t ignore the guidance I’ve given you.”

I don’t know if I believe him or not, but I think about what he told me every day, and I’m scared of the future. Of course, I don’t want my mom to die just so I can marry. There are no signs whatsoever that my mom could be the cause of this. I’m her only girl child, so I understand the depth of her love for me. When I was growing up, she made many sacrifices—sometimes, she had to set aside my brothers’ issues and take care of me first.

Currently, I’m also praying about it. I’m asking God to intervene in a special way and to speak to me directly so I may know the truth. It could be a sheer coincidence. It could also be about me or something in my destiny. My mom? No, she can’t be. And I can’t keep my marriage from her—how is that even possible?

It’s life. We’ll continue living it, hoping for the best while solving the worst situations along the way. It shall be well with me, I know.