My Married Boyfriend Doesn’t Know That I Am Married But There’s More
He tells me about his wife. Sometimes he talks about her on the phone. We would be having a conversation and he’d casually mention her to me. I don’t mind when he does it. Even when we are together and she comes up, I listen. Mostly it’s out of fascination. The fact that he has nothing bad to say about her.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
I haven’t met her but I feel like I know her because of how much he has told me. I know she is a good woman, a very prayerful one too. She supports his dreams and takes care of him the way any wife is expected to do for her husband. I know he loves her. And he assures me that he is not with me because he is unhappy.
“Our marriage is a happy one. If you were to ask my wife she would tell you we are not having any problems. We barely even fight.”
I listen to him and wonder what he is doing with me if he has a woman who makes him happy. I asked him once and he shrugged, “What can I say? You both make me happy.”
I don’t judge him. Lord knows that I have no moral grounds to do so. It’s just that I had a husband who made me happy, I wouldn’t be looking elsewhere for happiness. If my husband, Kwame, was half as kind to me as this man was, I wouldn’t be going through a divorce right now.
Despite the fact that Kwame and I have three children together, we couldn’t make our marriage work. That’s why we are currently separated. Honestly, that marriage left me broken. My husband was cold, distant, and had eyes for any other woman but me. I would keep asking myself, “What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t my husband see me?”
I developed low self-esteem because of his behaviour. It’s not as if I didn’t play my role as a wife. I took care of him and the kids, even neglecting my own needs. I was told that’s how a woman keeps her marriage intact. Well, I played by the rules but it was still not enough.
This new man treats me exactly the opposite of how my husband treated me. Coffie tells me I am beautiful. He takes me to beautiful places and likes to show me off. When it comes to gifts, he is spontaneous with them. He is always showing up with something to surprise me.
I try not to take him seriously when he says he loves me but he insists on saying it as many times as he wishes.
He doesn’t only say it, it shows in the way he handles me. He opens doors for me everywhere we go. And oh, he is generous to a fault. He provides my needs to the extent that I don’t touch my salary. I even end up saving money out of what he gives me.
To prove that he is serious about me, he has introduced me to his friends. He has taken me to his workplace a few times as well.
I have gotten to a place where I’m beginning to fall in love with him. The problem is, he doesn’t know about my marriage and my children. The kids don’t live with me so he assumed I didn’t have kids and I didn’t correct him.
I feel bad that I am lying to him but that’s not even the worst. Our relationship has gotten to a point where he spends days at my place without going home. Which means his wife is missing out on all those nights. It’s another thing I feel guilty about.
I don’t like how much the guilt keeps piling up. I want to do the right and set myself free, but he won’t let go. I have sat him down to have conversations with him. I told him, “I am breaking your home and it doesn’t sit right with me. Please let’s end things.”
He answered, “You are not doing anything. I am the one responsible for what happens in my home, not you. Besides, I choose where I go and I have chosen to be here with you.”
I know I should stand my ground but I am selfish. His presence in my life is helping me deal with my separation without hurting. Let’s not forget the goodies. I won’t get all the soft life he is giving me now if I insist on leaving.
On the other hand, staying with him riddles me with immense guilt. I don’t know what to do. Well, I do but I don’t have the courage to do it. Any advice for me? Please be kind with your words.
– Eugette
