My Husband Wants His Bride Price Back

We have been together for eight years now. We dated for six years and got married two years ago. A marriage as young as ours should be sweet like fresh palm wine, shouldn’t it? I even heard that when couples live apart, they are always in a honeymoon phase. That newness comes to light when they see each other.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>

I expected that to be my story but the reality is nothing like my plans. I put in the work. I know I did. But one person’s effort alone does not a marriage sustain. To think that he changed after he got a job is what I am struggling to come to terms with.

During the first five years of our relationship, he didn’t have a job. Things were hard for him but I stood by him. There were days he had nothing at all. Not even food. I watched out for the signs. That way he wouldn’t always have to ask me for help before I would assist him.

I didn’t have money in abundance. But when it came to him, you would think I did. I never told him, “Oh, I wish I could help but I don’t have money.” I shared my little with him.

By and by, he secured a good job three years ago. We were all happy. “If our love was strong when we had little money then it will be stronger now that there’s more money coming our way,” I thought.

I was so wrong. Work kept him busy. It cut down the time we spent together. I knew it was bound to happen but this one was drastic. I barely saw him. Spending time with him felt like a miracle.

It didn’t help matters that after marriage, we had to live apart because of this same work of his. Imagine being in a long-distance marriage with someone who is too busy to make time for you.

While it was hard to see him, it was harder to get him on the phone for a conversation. Our communication suffered.

“You’ve changed so much. It’s ruining what we have,” I would tell him. He’d hear me but I don’t think he ever listened.

He didn’t think there was anything wrong with the way things had become. “This is what I need to do to secure a future for us. That’s why it’s called work. It’s supposed to keep you busy.”

I didn’t think it was all work though. Everything pointed to the fact that another woman was in the picture, or other women. I didn’t have proof but deep down, I just knew it was the reason for his emotional abuse.

I became a nag because of this. I was constantly fighting him out of frustration. On some extreme occasions, I have gotten angry to the point where I said hurtful things to him. I regret that to this day.

Maybe I thought if I spoke loudly enough, he would finally listen to me eventually and change. But all it did was turn us into the couple who fights.

A few days ago, it happened again. We got into a serious argument and he hit me. I couldn’t hit him back but I retaliated by calling him all sorts of names.

In hindsight, I should have walked out of the marriage right after that physical abuse. Instead of doing that, I chose to leave everything in God’s hands. It was he, who turned around and said he was done with me.

Despite everything he did to me, he is demanding that my family return the bride price he paid over me. My family begged him to forgive me so we work on what is broken in the marriage but he said no. “I can’t stay married to a woman with such a sharp tongue. Her words are too painful.”

I am not justifying his actions but I felt partly responsible for what happened. I told myself that if I wasn’t always running my mouth, he wouldn’t have hit me. So I went to his place yesterday with the intention to talk to him and see if we could resolve our differences. Guess what?

I found another woman in his room. As I write this, I feel so shattered. Knowing that I was right all along is what is breaking my heart. Not only was he cheating and lying about it, but now it appears he has chosen the other woman over me.

Ah, I should have left him when he started acting shady. I have spent all this time hoping he would change but look, he is leaving me instead.

I am thirty-two now. And the thought of starting over again scares me. Nonetheless, I am ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

The good thing is that we don’t have kids yet. So there is nothing tying me to him. I am willing to move away to another town if I have to. That’s why I am here with my story.

I am looking for a job. I have a diploma but I can do any kind of work. I’m living in the northern part of Ghana currently but as I stated earlier, I am ready to move. I just need to get away from him and everything that reminds me of our eight years together. Is there anyone here who can help me?

– Ayisha