I’m doing everything possible to make my marriage work but still, my husband won’t let go of his vices. I don’t know what else to do, which is a first for me.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
I have never not known what to do when it comes to love and relationships. I grew up with a mother who was a confidante to many. Men and women from all walks of life would come to see her to talk about their marital problems.
They spoke of the things they did that waged war in their homes. They spoke about what their spouses did that drove them to cheat. I was a child but I picked pearls of wisdom from these conversations and tucked them under my sleeves.
I was so sure that if I got into a relationship, I would know how to keep a man. I was determined I wouldn’t cheat.
“I will be submissive.”
“I won’t be one of those women who keeps my money to myself. I will work and support the home financially.”
“When it comes to the bedroom I will always be a dutiful wife. I will not withhold myself from my man.”
“I won’t do anything to lose him to another woman.”
Sometimes when I practiced them they worked. Other times they didn’t work. For instance, I got the ring but I have never been happy since.
I am not blowing my own horns but I am everyone’s type. I have curves in all the right places. I had a thriving career. I was the full package but maybe I arrived at the wrong address. I have never been enough for Nii.
No matter what I do to satisfy his needs, he still strays. The most painful part is not even the cheating itself. It’s the calibre of women he does it with. If you see the way I look and the way these women look, you will understand what I am talking about. They don’t measure up to me. Not when it comes to looks, and certainly not when it comes to status.
No matter what I did or said, he kept at it. “Why am I never enough for you?” I often asked him. He never had an answer for me. All he did was go on cheating.
I became a shadow of myself. I felt inadequate. I was so sure that there was something fundamentally wrong with me, for my husband to go about running through women as if they were a roll of toilet paper.
Out of loneliness, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I went looking for comfort in another man’s arms. It was a brief affair that ended before it even began.
The guilt ate me up so much that I confided in a friend. Unfortunately, I forgot to delete the chat. That’s how my husband found out. For someone who had no problem doing it, you would think he would have no problem taking a dose of his own medicine.
The man was a wreck. I admitted the truth and begged for his forgiveness but he reported the issue to my family.
After a series of meetings, we agreed that I would quit my job and move in with him. I was willing to do anything to prove how sorry I was. So I agreed to sacrifice my job for the marriage to work. We lived in separate towns but I moved.
I am disappointed to say that it all amounted to nothing. Despite the fact that I live with him now, he still holds on to his little girlfriends.
We have three children now but my husband hasn’t exhibited any character growth. He treats me as if I am the villain in the marriage. Recently I caught him again but he didn’t care. When I asked him to apologize he said, “Men don’t apologize in real life. Apologies only happen in textbooks.”
Now I know he will never change. This is something that keeps repeating and it will continue for as long as I remain with him.
This is why I need a job. If I have something to do, I can save some money and move away with the kids. It’s only going to get worse the longer I stay.
Every time he leaves home, my head is all over the place. When I call him and his phone is off, I feel unsettled. Why should I keep doing this to myself? I’m ready to choose myself and my peace.
Maybe if I leave he will have the freedom to continue with his ways. That’s up to him though. As for me, I have learned my lessons. I am sick and tired of men and their drama. I just want to get away from him so I can focus on my kids.
If it helps, I live in Tarkwa. I can work in operations and managerial positions but I don’t mind starting over from the bottom again. The location of the job doesn’t matter to me because I am ready to move. So if anyone here has a job and can help, I will be very grateful.
– Lily
