Don’t Pick A Woman From The Trenches And Make Her Better

I’m talking to the men. The women may get angry, but that’s the truth. I’ve lived it, experienced it long enough to know what it means. I’ve dated four women seriously. When I say seriously, I mean they were women I wanted to marry. I introduced them to my family. I took them wherever I went. I wore them on my sleeve so the world would know them for who they were—my women.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>

All these ladies cheated on me. I caught Sabina with my own eyes while it was happening. The room she cheated in, I rented it for her. The guy came around bearing food and gifts, so she fell for him and opened up to be juiced.

When I caught Erica, she said I’d stopped caring about her because I chose my job over her. She said she suspected I was cheating too because I was always away. I’m talking about a girl I set up with a business so she could be busy. I was busy, but I called every day. I visited once a week. I sent money her way whenever she needed it. She told me, “It doesn’t mean anything, all those things. I needed your presence.”

As for Efe, herrh! This girl was a mafia. She even introduced the guy she cheated with to me as an uncle, her mother’s youngest brother. I believed her because the guy always talked about family stuff when we were together. Can you imagine we shared a room together one night because this guy claimed he had lost his keys? While I left early in the morning, he stayed behind to continue the job.

All these women cheated because they were poor when I found them. So guys, underline this: it’s only poor women who will cheat on you unprovoked. Women who have something going—who are financially sound—are not likely to cheat because what are you going to use to impress them?

I was sold the wrong concept—that when you pick a woman from the trenches and wash her clean, she’ll always love and respect you. They know where you picked them up from, and they’ll always love you for where you’ve brought them. So I went for the needy. The jobless women. The send-me-Momo-urgently women. The SHS graduates working at fuel stations (that’s where I met Efe). In my mind, I was raising them to be the kind of women I wanted.

Once you showed them good things, they always wanted more. They come from a place of lack and don’t want to go back, so they keep wanting more and more. When another man comes and promises more, they hook onto that man. Buy them a phone. Someone will buy them data and get them into bed. It’s harsh but true.

I didn’t know that, so when they cheated and left me broken, I thought the fault was in my stars. I thought I wasn’t man enough. I thought I was too soft to keep a woman. I ended up looking down on myself, saying, “Maybe I’m cursed.”

Until Febi came along. She’s a corporate woman who also owns two hair salons. I supplied her hair dryers and other salon equipment when she was setting up her new salon. We became friends and then later became lovers. She was so busy she didn’t sit and sulk about me not calling. I missed her calls, and she also missed mine, but later in the day, we made it up to each other.

The TV we currently use—she bought it for me as a gift when we were dating. She came to my room and didn’t see a TV. I told her I didn’t have the time to watch TV, that’s why I didn’t own one. She brought the TV and told me, “I will watch when I come around.”

We dated for only eight months and got married because I met her ready. I didn’t need to set her up and wait until she started saving. I didn’t worry whether she would contribute to our wedding or not. She would buy the stuff and tell me, “Don’t buy this. I already have it.” She made me realize that indeed, it was my fault that all those women cheated on me. I picked them low, thinking I could one day wear them high. What’s “one day” to a poor woman? Every day is one day!

You’re a man who works hard for your means. What stops you from dating a woman who also works hard and has her means? You’ll take a woman from the floor and build her up? Eiii, you have vim ooo. Listen to me, a woman won’t choose you if you bring nothing to the table, so why choose her when she doesn’t even have a table to put something on? A word to the wise.