Me, My Husband, And The Married Woman Who Won’t Leave Him Alone

I am the quiet type. Most of the time, I only talk when I have to. In anger even, I don’t talk carelessly. Anyone who knows me long enough would attest to these things about me. And I want to believe that some of them use this knowledge to their advantage. Especially Cain.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>

Cain is my husband. I met him when I was posted to the town we live in now, for my national service. He availed himself as a friend when I first got here. Through that closeness, we fell in love and started something beautiful.

He treated me like an egg that would hatch and give him gold. He was caring, loving, and sweet to a fault. “Wow,” I would often think, “the way this man loves me is exactly how I have always wanted to be treasured by a partner. He is the one.”

I matched his efforts. I showed him, love, affection, kindness, and everything soft and sweet in between. Truly, I believed I had found peace. The one they say you feel in your heart when you meet your soulmate.

I was still basking in the happiness of my newfound love when I started receiving calls and messages from an anonymous number.

This person did not bother to introduce herself. She went straight to insults and name-calling.

“Boyfriend snatcher.”

“Stay away from my man.”

“Cain is not for you. Go and get your own man.”

The first day it happened, I asked Cain; “What’s all this? You already had a girlfriend before we started dating?”

He said he didn’t know what I was talking about but recognition dawned on his face the moment I showed him the messages. Calmly he said, “Oh, I know who it is. Leave it to me, I will handle it.”

“Cain, I am a stranger in this town. I don’t want anyone hurting me because I am unintentionally dating her man. Tell me the truth, is she your girlfriend?”

All he said in response was, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

Well, since he wouldn’t come clean, I approached his two best friends for the truth. That’s when everything became clear.

They told me Cain’s ex-girlfriend, Abby, was behind the harassment. “He left her last year but she won’t let him be. She says she still loves him so her goal is to make sure he always remains single.”

She had his spare key and refused to return it. This gave her unrestricted access to his place. She went there anytime she wanted, and acted as if she owned the place. It must have been during one of her “unwelcome” visits that she got my number from his phone.

Honestly, it all made sense. Right from the moment our relationship began, Cain was always at my place. It didn’t bother me but I always wondered why. Now I knew.

I trusted my man to handle things but the next set of insults was horrible. She gave my number to her friends and they called me one by one to insult me on her behalf. I counted them. Eight people in total. They did their worst but I didn’t retaliate.

When her behaviour continued, I eventually contacted her directly and asked her to be honest with me. “Is Cain really your boyfriend?”

If she had said yes, I would have walked away and let her have him. But she told me they were not officially together but not apart either. This is how I knew Cain and his friend didn’t lie to me.

Still, she went around telling people I snatched her boyfriend. She is the type of person who shares her problems with anyone at all as long as they are willing to give her a listening ear. Unfortunately for me, I don’t like talking, let alone, defending myself to people who don’t know me.

So it was easy for her lies to turn people against me. To date, some of these people don’t talk to me.

One day when she insulted me again, I decided I had had enough. I insulted her right back. Unbeknownst to me, she recorded our exchange and shared the part where I insulted her with her contacts on WhatsApp.

Before I knew it, people were whispering and pointing fingers at me everywhere I went. They were yet to get to know me but they knew Abby well. So once again, I was the villain in her story. Even my pastor took her side without listening to me first. He got angry that I was fighting over a man. Since then, he and his wife didn’t talk to me until they were transferred to another town.

I endured all of this because I was in love with a man who assured me that I was the only woman in his life. And what is more assuring of a man’s love for a woman than for him to marry her? At least, that’s what I thought.

She had gone quiet at a point. So when we eventually got married, I just assumed they were finally done with whatever complication existed between them.

One day, I was chatting and laughing with friends when she walked by. That was my crime against her: merely existing. She accused me of mocking her. Like joke like joke, she called her friends to come and insult me. All their drama revealed to me that she was still close to Cain.

I went home and politely asked him to cut her off. “Why are you still her friend after everything she has done to me?”

To my shock, he said, “Abby is not someone I can stop being friends with.”

These words shredded every tissue in my heart. I tried to get his mother to speak to him but I was backing up the wrong tree. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with their friendship.

“If she is doing something you don’t like, just talk to her.”

Abby got married along the line, but Cain was still her ride-or-die. I dealt with so much stress when I was pregnant because of these two. In the end, I developed high blood pressure and underwent an emergency C.S.

Our child is now two years old, and he wants us to have another baby. I agreed until I went through his phone and found something that broke me again.

She tells him everything about her life. When she needed a school for her child, she sought his advice. She rented a shop and bought a motorbike based on his guidance. There were pictures of the tenancy agreement and motorbike documents on his phone.

In one of their chats, she told him, “My husband is at home now so I will call you later.”

This prompted me to check his call logs. I found out that they talk every day when he is at work.

I haven’t confronted him about any of this yet. It’s the same story over and over again so I am not sure what to do yet.

My fear is that if I get pregnant again, the stress will lead to another C-section. The crazy part is that nobody close to him thinks their friendship is a big deal. It’s as if I am the one overthinking things.

Am I really the problem here? If I am not, then why doesn’t anyone see anything wrong with this situation? Or maybe, if I was as loud and aggressive as Abby, they wouldn’t be so dismissive of my feelings and concerns.