The Hell I Went Through When He Didn’t Propose When He Said He Would
I saw it on his Notes app. He’d titled it The Journey. I stumbled upon it while working on his MacBook. He had written about how he was going to propose marriage and where he was going to do it. After writing the details of how he was going to go down on one knee and pop the question, he wrote, “11th May 2022. We’ll then marry before the year ends.”......➡️CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLES HERE.
I was happy to know that he was going to marry me just after a year of dating. I was overjoyed until it dawned on me that my knowing his plans took the surprise element out of the whole thing. I felt a little guilty, but I told myself I would act surprised anyway.
I went about my life practising how to feign surprise when the ring finally came out. I did it in the mirror, and when it didn’t go well, I would tell myself, “That’s too fake. Who even asked me to read his notes?”
Two days before the date, he travelled. He said he was going to spend a week away. I thought, “Wait, I didn’t read this part in the note. Did he update it, and I didn’t know? Or… or… wait, don’t let me think of that. Maybe it’s all part of the game. He would appear out of nowhere and put the ring on my finger.”
I was on the phone with him while he was driving to where he was going. I would ask where he had reached. He would make a stop and call me on video while buying food on the way. When he reached his destination, we talked. All night, I was on the phone with him. On the morning of the 11th of May, he called to tell me he would be in a meeting all day. I thought it was part of the plan.
The day was gradually ending, but there was no proposal. I spiralled into depression. “Or what I read wasn’t for me? He travelled to propose to another woman?” He said he was going to be in a meeting, but I bombarded him with texts all day. I asked him to call me on video because I missed him. He texted back, “Hey, I’m in a meeting. I can’t talk.” I said, “No problem. Just call on video; let me see your face. Don’t talk. I’ll be fine.”
He turned his phone off. I screamed, “I knew it. Men! That’s all they do—break the hearts of good women while on their way to date evil women. I should have known this guy won’t take me anywhere.”
I was not fine. I was crying. I even drank a bottle of wine so I could get drunk and fall asleep. That didn’t work, so all I did was cry until I saw his call on my phone. I screamed, “What did you do that for? Are you sure you were in a meeting? Who’s that woman?”
He asked calmly, “What’s going on? You’ve been acting weird since I said I was travelling. What’s the problem with you?” I screamed, “Why wouldn’t I act weird? Why should you travel on the 11th of May? Why not earlier or later? I don’t understand. Who travels on the 11th of May?”
His calmness was magic. He smelled of innocence. I calmed down when he said he had a surprise for me on his return. He came back with chocolates. Those were the surprise. When we hugged, I smelled his clothes to see if I could perceive Jezebel’s perfume on him. When he talked, I watched his lips to see if he had kissed the lips of a dragon. He kept asking me, “What? Why are you acting weird?”
I spent the night with him, still full of doubts. I woke up the next morning to see a ring and a flower next to my pillow. He wasn’t there. I rushed to the hall to see the TV displaying “Would You Marry Me?”
I cried. The “yes” couldn’t even come out. He came to hug me and then carried me to the washroom and said, “Brush your teeth and come for a kiss.”
“Ah!”
The proposal date didn’t happen as he wrote it. The marriage also didn’t happen before the year ended, but it happened anyway. In February 2023, we got married. Now I understand perfectly when they say patience is a virtue. Or when they say, “What you think you know isn’t actually the whole truth.” But it’s also not my fault to feel the way I felt because, when it comes to men, heartbreak is always possible.