I Discovered My Husband’s Secret Wives And Children

I’m an American who has been married to an immigrant for twelve years. He is Igbo, from Nigeria. We had a big wedding here in Texas, my home state. My friends and family were all present to support us, while his uncle, who is a priest, officiated the wedding. With the support of both of our families, I was sure we were going to have a peaceful marriage.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>

For a long time, things were indeed peaceful. I was so in love with this man. I couldn’t believe my luck that I had landed an amazing husband, and we were raising four wonderful children together. For all that time, we were truly happy. As most people say, “Ignorance is bliss.” I believe this is to say that what you do not know cannot hurt you.

I am sure I would have continued being happy if he hadn’t changed drastically. It was like a switch. One moment he was all bright and shiny, the next moment he was distant and cold. He became quite mean, too. It was as if he no longer cared about me.

I started asking questions. I wanted to know why he changed. For the first time since we got married, I was curious enough to want to go through his phone. Guess what? He had so many layers of passwords on the phone. You would think he was a secret service agent.

Now my question went from “What changed?” to “What is my husband hiding?”

He became so secretive. He even slept with his phone tucked under his pillow. He is an IT guy who worked from home. All of a sudden, he started keeping his office locked. And if he had to receive phone calls in my presence, he would whisper in Igbo.

I asked him a lot of questions.

“What’s going on, honey?”

“Did something happen back home?”

“Are we in a good place? You’ve been distant lately.”

He answered all my questions with, “Nothing is happening. Everything is fine.”

I couldn’t have believed him even if I wanted to. And I knew I wouldn’t get any answers out of him. So I quietly started investigating him.

I secretly recorded some of the conversations he had in his native language. The day I translated everything to English was the day I realized I didn’t know the man I lived with for twelve years and called my husband. The things I discovered broke me.

While I was scheduling our lives and planning our meals, my husband was planning to move back to Nigeria and abandon our family in the U.S.

If everything went as intended, he would have been married to a young Nigerian woman by now. The only thing he was going to do with our marriage was send money to me for the children’s upkeep. That’s not even the worst of it.

I also found out he had other wives back in Nigeria. He married them through traditional ceremonies. Can you believe he has children with these women? I don’t know how he did it, but I never suspected anything. How does a man hide wives and children for twelve good years? I felt like I had been sleeping with my enemy all these years.

He was shocked when I confronted him.

“Who—who—who told you these lies?”

He is not a stammerer, but he started fumbling as he denied everything. To this day, he tells the kids everything I found out is all lies. No accountability.

In fact, he got angry when I asked him, “Why are you entertaining another woman and promising her marriage when you are already married to me?”

He said I invaded his privacy. “There’s no more trust or respect in this marriage. If this is how you want to behave, then go ahead and file for divorce. If you don’t do it, I will do it,” he threatened.

Honestly, his reaction had me questioning myself. I wondered if the things I knew were in my head or if they were real. To be sure I wasn’t tripping, I went to therapy.

My therapist told me, “Your husband is a narcissist. They never accept accountability for anything. They’d rather turn around and act like the victim of the situation.”

I learned that he had been emotionally and financially abusing me all these years. There was nothing in that marriage for me to fight for.

When his family found out, they tried to silence me.

“Don’t check his phone,” they advised me.

“You can’t deny your husband anything he wants. If not, another woman will give it to him,” they said.

“Marriage is a sacred institution. You don’t take that step unless you’re ready to do it for life. So stay with him. We don’t divorce in our family.”

“Stop fighting with him. Do you want another woman to come into your home?”

At this point, I thought, “Another woman in my home here in Texas? He should try it!”

They expected me to keep quiet and endure his deception and manipulation like many of the women in their lives. But that kind of emotional torture is not something I can do. If I try it, I might snap one day and hurt him.

He was shocked when I filed for the divorce. When they came to serve him the papers, he didn’t even want to open the door. I wasn’t home, but I watched it unfold on our home camera while I was at work.

The divorce process has begun, but he’s still being sneaky. He tried to secretly get a new passport and leave the country with the kids. Thank God I found out in time. The court has since issued temporary orders to prevent him from flying out of the state.

He’s now trying to delay the divorce by refusing to submit his financial documents. Meanwhile, I’ve already turned in mine. His own lawyer is frustrated with him because his actions are making her look bad.

The judge has given him until next month to comply. I don’t know if he will do it.

Despite everything, he is still controlling, still acting like I belong to him. He says, “You’ll always be my wife. It’s my responsibility to take care of you and the kids. I don’t need the government to tell me how to do that.” But I don’t care anymore. I just want the divorce finalized so I can move forward with my life and keep my children safe.

I’m even worried he might try to get back at me by taking the kids to Nigeria permanently after the divorce. That fear is very real.

All I want now is fairness. I’ve invested so much in this marriage only to be deceived, while he selfishly built his retirement and funded his secret families. I don’t think I should walk away empty-handed with four kids.

I want the house sold so I can move into something smaller. I’m even willing to forgo the alimony I’m owed. I just want everything to be over soon.

This whole situation has taught me a lot about myself and my strength. Even though I feel hurt and betrayed, I don’t want to hurt him. I just want to keep my children and myself safe from him.

– Tia