We Had It Good Until He Started Listening To His Mother

My first boyfriend, Jonathan, is a Krobo. We dated for two years, but it didn’t work out. The breakup left me so broken that I vowed never to love another man again, especially if he is Krobo.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>

When I was dating Jonathan, many people were against the relationship. They believed Krobo men don’t treat women well. I didn’t listen to them. I believed I knew my Jonathan better than anyone. Sadly, I experienced the stereotype people warned me about.

Then Stephen came along. I rejected him at first because he’s Krobo too, but he never gave up. He kept coming back after each rejection. The longer he lingered the better I got to know him. I met his friends and relatives. Everyone who knew him had something good to say about him. I don’t even remember when it happened but I fell in love with him and accepted his proposal.

Because of our experiences from past relationships, we decided to keep things private until we were sure and ready to tell our parents.

I’m Ewe, and Stephen told me his father is also Ewe, but because of how he was raised, he doesn’t really see himself that way. I once asked if his mother would like me since I’m Ewe, and he said, “Whatever I like, my mother will definitely like too.”

Later, I had accommodation issues. While I was looking for a way out, he asked me to move in with him temporarily. I agreed.

We were together one day when he received a call from his mother. After talking to her he turned to me and said, “She says I should come home. There’s something important she wants to talk about.” He said he would know the details when he got there.

He left our place, a loving doting boyfriend and returned a cold and distant man. I didn’t know what changed. But he started treating me as if I were a liability.

One day I asked him, “Do you still love me?”

He answered, “What if I say yes, but it’s not true?”

That reply hurt me badly. I concluded that maybe he was tired of me because we now lived together. So I told him I would find a place and move out in a month. He got upset.

He said I offended him by saying I was moving out when he didn’t sack me. Even after I apologized, he didn’t act like he had forgiven me.

I asked a friend to talk to him on my behalf because I was confused about where I stood. My friend called him and put the call on conference so I could listen. Stephen told my friend he doesn’t take what people say in anger lightly because he believes that’s when they speak the truth.

Later, I confronted him about what he said. I also explained why I said I wanted to move out. That night, we settled our differences, and things went back to normal. Except he stopped talking about the future with me.

So one day, I asked him directly to tell me if he still loved me. He said, “Haven’t I already told you?” I said, “I don’t know if you still do,” and that’s when he told me his mother wanted to talk to me.

I took that as a sign that he was finally opening up to her about us, even though we had agreed to take things slow.

Then last night, his mother called. Stephen gave me the phone so she could speak with me. She asked what tribe I was from, and I told her I’m Ewe.

The next thing I heard was, “I’m sorry, but you can’t be with my son. His father is Ewe, and what he did to me made me hate Ewes. I’ve told all my children never to marry an Ewe.”

After the call, I asked Stephen why he let me fall in love with him when he knew his mother wouldn’t accept me.

He said, “You wouldn’t have accepted me if you knew the truth. Besides, I was hoping my mother would change her mind. She has never rejected any woman I brought home.”

He said he only decided to tell her about me because I’m living with him. “Anything at all can happen, so I felt she should know. She is my mother and father in one person.”

I understood why he told her but now I know she doesn’t approve of me. What am I supposed to do? Try and win her over with my personality? He keeps assuring me that he will keep talking to her until she accepts me. But I don’t trust him when it comes to her.

Especially now that I finally understand why he changed and stopped talking about our future. He was listening to his mother but didn’t know how to tell me because he didn’t want to hurt me. Do you think there’s any chance for us?

– Afeafa