Flora and I dated seven years ago. It was a short love affair that didn’t last beyond a year. Nothing dramatic happened. We both sat down and agreed that things were not working. “Let’s just be friends,” we both decided.......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
Now it’s been eight years since we had that conversation. Throughout the years, we’ve been in touch. Everything has been platonic between us since we ended things. She has a daughter while I am in a committed relationship. When we talk these things come up and we share all the stuff we’ve been up to.
My fiancée and I are preparing to tie the knot this year. But my ex is raising all manner of issues that has me questioning the future I am planning.
Although our break-up was mutual, it happened because there was no trust in the relationship. She was never completely honest about her life. I suspected there was another man in the picture but I never had proof. It was on the day we were breaking up that she admitted she was seeing another guy in the USA. She also mentioned that she had been married in the past but the guy’s family were against it so she left.
It was good to finally know the truth but it didn’t matter. We were already drawing the curtains to everything we had. All through that time there was no mention of pregnancy.
Then she had her daughter in 2019. I sent her messages congratulating her and she said thank you. Sometimes she sent me photos of the baby. Other times she posted photos of the child and I saw it. Since we were friends, we talked and joked a lot. And I think I took one of these jokes too far and now it has become a problem for me.
Somewhere in 2023 I saw a photo of the little girl and teased, “She is growing beautifully. I think she looks like me. Is she mine?”
We all laughed about it, only for her to come later and tell me the child is indeed mine. Honestly, I took it as another one of her jokes so I didn’t really engage her on the subject.
This year she asked if she could put my name on the child’s birth certificate. Honestly, I was really shocked and confused. “Is this all a crazy prank, or you are trying to get me into trouble? Why are you doing this?”
She answered, “Oh, I am as serious as a heart attack. She is truly your child. I won’t lie about this because I don’t want anything from you. I only want my daughter to know her father and experience fatherly love. And I am asking about the birth certificate because I need it for school.”
According to her, she doesn’t mind excluding me from the child’s life if I don’t want to be part of it. “You are free to live your life. I hope our paths never cross again,” she concluded.
She no longer lives in Kenya so I haven’t seen her in years. But we were in touch all those years. Why didn’t tell me she was pregnant with my child? Or when she had the baby in 2019, why did she not tell me? I don’t understand why she had to wait until I made a joke that the child looked like me before she came out to say she was mine.
She was the first woman I ever got intimate with. And to the best of my memories, we always used protection. Her defence was that, there was a time we didn’t use it. The truth is, I don’t remember.
If there’s any truth to what she is saying then why did she keep it to herself for almost five years? We remained good friends, checked up on each other, and talked about our lives, yet she couldn’t tell me I got her pregnant and she kept it? Come on!
Things have become so complicated. I loved her then, and even now, a part of me still does. Who would forget their first so easily? Now with the child in the picture, I am all messed up in the head. I never want to have a child who grows up without my presence. But here lies the case where I have a woman who is everything I have ever dreamed of.
As a man, how should I handle this? On the one hand, I am very sure my ex’s daughter is not mine. On the other hand, what if I am wrong and she is indeed mine? She is not even close to me for me to ask for a DNA test.
