We have all experienced similar thoughts when we are in a dating relationship that is getting serious.
Am I getting caught up in infatuation and ignoring red flags?
Am I overthinking the dynamic and trying to control the situation?
Do I need to let loose and enjoy the journey?
We fill our minds with vetting systems that we try to implement to weed out unsuitable partners.
People say things and display behaviors that should be immediate red flags, but I noticed one that sticks out more than the others.
It gives you the best line of sight of the person you will be dealing with.
Remember that a relationship is a partnership built on the evolution of two people.
When you hear this phrase, it is the quickest sign that mutual growth will not be your experience.
You know it won’t be an article that you scan for two seconds, rip a phrase out, and move on.
We have to break it down together so you can understand what the phrase tells you about a person, then I will give you the goods.
Failure to look in the mirror
Facing our past is difficult at any stage of life.
It involves breaking down our childhood traumas, things we experienced in our school-aged years, and events that could have happened last week.
What do you do when faced with this task? Do you run and hide and “accept it for what it is,” or do you do the difficult task and hit them head-on?
I write about attachment style, which analyzes our behaviors that derive from these experiences in life.
Our attachment style shows how we approach the pillars of a relationship; connection, intimacy, bonding, and even separation.
If you do not dive into your attachment style, you fail to become a securely attached individual, negatively react to times of turmoil, and deactivate.
